I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
