He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
