ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
