He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
