If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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