p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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