i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
