I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
