You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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