After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
