have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
