Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
