Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
