Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
