Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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