Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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