sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
