It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
