would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
