Sponge bath it is.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
