He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
