Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
