You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
