Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
