nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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