the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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