Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm really busy with my period
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