You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
