day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
