last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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