2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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