Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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