Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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