Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
