I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
