i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
