I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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