It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
