wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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