Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
