Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
