It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
