I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
