break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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