Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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