Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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