listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he shaved USA in his pubs
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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