He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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