Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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