So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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