new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
