I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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