i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
