i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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