Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
