If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Boobs speak an international language.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
